The rules of chivalry go something like this: Pick up the girl at 7 o’clock, open the car door (yes, he has a car) and pay for her dinner. These are simple obligations a guy must uphold to be a gentleman, which is high praise in the dating world.
My generation has made the dating world completely obsolete. The word “dating” is hardly used because it implies a serious and committed relationship and why would anyone want something like that?
And so the hookup culture was born.
There are many things to blame for this change of heart and mind. Technology is a huge factor in this millennial change because it created a newfound link between long-term and short-term necessities.
Tinder, one of the most popular dating apps, is hugely successful with college students. It is not the only dating site responsible for the diminishing dating lifestyle, but its accessibility and enormous social media buzz makes it a perfect example of men’s growing desire to only meet short-term necessities, like hookups.
Tinder, created in 2012, gave college kids a broader view of their other options. The Huffington Post reported that a study done by Tinder stated that 54 percent of users are between 18 to 24, and 31.6 percent are between 25 to 34.
While in your 20s, partying and hooking up go hand in hand, but that does not mean women have to lower their standards just because college guys got lazier and shallower.
I have seen countless friends try to use Tinder in an attempt to simply meet guys in a new and unfamiliar area. Time and time again, the Tinder guys have immediately made their intentions clear. Even if there is a winner (a guy who isn’t looking for just a slam piece), that guy is often caught talking to and/or meeting up with another Tinder date.
With so many attractive people just a swipe away, why would anyone want to commit to one person? This temptation creates a mind set for men and women to stay clear from dating altogether.
This is where chivalry was lost in my generation. With a fear of commitment combined with countless other options wandering the Internet, men feel they do not have to try as hard for a woman’s approval.
Dates are basically archaic, because hanging out with a guy implies going to a party and drinking. This is socializing, right? And if you do this with a guy you like, doesn’t that count as a date?
Nice try, fellas.
Now, of course there are plenty of guys out there that still fall under the category of “gentlemen,” and I applaud these guys that are not afraid to show affection and effort toward someone of their interest.
In the guys’ eyes, women are simply as disposable as a red solo cup over the weekend. If one date does not work out, or have a flaw they do not admire, there are a multitude of other options just waiting for them to swipe left.
A solution to the death of chivalry is found here. The chase to constantly find something better needs to end in order for guys to want to work hard for their date and be reborn as gentlemen.
Santa Barbara, Isla Vista in particular, has a huge college student population in a small vicinity, which has created a huge partying reputation.
Students at Indiana University conducted a study on Tinder showing that someone is 54% more likely to hook up with a ‘match’ within a one-mile proximity. According to the study, that percentage drops in half every two miles.
This statistic shows the dangerous growth in Tinder hookups in a place like Isla Vista, where every college student that lives there is about a mile away from one another.
For those that insist they want to be single forever, or date three to four girls at a time, the excuse of ‘it’s college’ will not work forever and I hope the hopeless romantic comes out in you eventually.
The future of dating is not lost, just simply forgotten. When men and women stop chasing the countless other possible matches popping up on their phones, dating will make its come back and having an actual relationship will once again prove its benefits.