The biggest tragedies that we encounter teach us the biggest lessons in life.

Unfortunate as circumstances can be, there is always something to learn from tragic experiences even though we might not realize it at first. Depending on the magnitude of the situation, it can take longer to realize this. But the lesson(s) learned can be life changing and in some cases, life-saving.

I’d like to share with you the saddest, but also the most life-changing moment of my life. Not because I seek sympathy, but because I want to spread awareness. If my message changes even one person’s outlook on life then I consider it successful.

Four years ago, I lost my only sibling and older brother, Kurt Baker, to a combination of alcohol and prescription pills. He was just 22 years old.

He had moved from our hometown of Sacramento to San Diego with his best friend when he was 19 years old and attended San Diego Mesa College. He and his best friend soon joined a fraternity, Sigma Pi, where they met a lot of new people and made a lot of new friends. My brother later ended up moving into the fraternity house when he was 21 (where he died).

His cause of death might lead some to assume that he was a druggie, which couldn’t possibly be any further from the truth. The worst part of explaining his death to others is that when I tell people how he died, I feel like they automatically assume he was a horrible person. I feel like people judge my brother based on the circumstances of his death rather than how he lived his life each and every day.

It kills me that I feel the need to explain to people that he wasn’t a junkie. If you ever met him you would know he wasn’t that type of person at all. He made a stupid, drunk decision that had consequences worse than he could’ve possibly imagined.

My brother loved to have a good time, but one night he over-did it. This is a mistake that a lot of people make, yet live to tell the tale. Others, like my brother, aren’t so fortunate and don’t have the opportunity to learn from their mistake.

Have you ever been so drunk that you blacked out or don’t remember what you did? Hasn’t everyone? This common mistake is what led to my brother taking a prescription pill that someone gave him that night; a pill that ultimately ended his life.

The problem with young adults, teenagers, and heck pretty much everyone is that we have a feeling of invincibility. That we can do whatever we want and still wake up the next morning.  We are spoiled in the sense that we are alive and able to do the things we do on a daily basis. We take for granted our ability to feel emotion and have relationships.

Life is too short so enjoy the little things. The long days at school that we all dread (or dreaded) so much, the long work days, doing your laundry, going to the grocery store, etc. Everything we do on a daily basis is all a part of an awesome experience that we get one shot at. Nobody is promised a tomorrow, so always tell your family and friends you love them.

We were as close as siblings could be considering we our 5 and a half-year age difference. I’m not saying that he didn’t make fun of me or beat me up, because he definitely did plenty of that. Those are the things that as the younger brother you get used to (especially since he was always much bigger than I).

What sucks the most, I had just turned 16 when he passed and I was finally becoming old enough where he talked to me like a friend instead of a little brother. I know that if he was alive today we would be even closer than we were before because we could open up to each other about more mature topics.

He lived with a sense of positivity and happiness unlike any other person I’ve ever met and that is something I try to carry with me each and every day. I never remember him being in a bad mood other than if he was losing on the basketball court, which is where we spent a lot of our time together.

Sometimes it takes something terrible happening, such as death, for us to get the wake-up call and realize what’s most important in life. As sad and difficult as this time was for me in my life, I have matured so much as a person since then and now I view life in a completely different way.

I have come to the realization that life is a privilege so we should cherish it. By cherishing our lives I don’t mean buying the nicest material items to make us feel good about ourselves. I mean doing the little things every day to remind those that we love how much we care about them.

Drug and Alcohol related death statistics. 

How dangerous is it to mix prescription pills and alcohol?